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Glass, Cellophane, Vinyl,Metal, Skin, Etc

Pay attention to the signs as they appear in rapid succession
It’s all the same big idea baby, listen up!!

It all started with the uh
the sturgeon moon or was it the steroids
Or was it popping *that* one VHS tape into the waiting maw
Or was it the urge to look for me in the background of the frame or across the room or how dare u and those barrels of buried truth tap me on the shoulder,

the hanging lantern was made out of a deployed airbag I found out later from a new nearfuture friend of mine
That life was a rear underride crash
today I met its maker
He imagines a particular image:
Stretched between two big rigs
Stretched taut in the trap
I slept myself into it, fought the heavy sleep of being drugged (a few times ~~when~~ before I was 19 and knew everything of course myself is the only one really deserving of my forgiveness in this proof of love the rest of you know who you are and Y’ALL WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN, I know your government name I saved that business card until one day I walked up to my “⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠” (my ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠) and said “I unforgive you, fuck you” punctuated like a hunter would a headshot 🎯 and maybe that is where the rubber met the road in this case, or was it when I unearthed what I used to ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ u)

ANYway
Heaven is a cluttered garage, or it was
All I had was growing my hair long enough to sit on, to make a Fire Escape Ladder - Home Escape Plan Included! ($9.99 earthly dollars)
Blow on that fire until it catches and/or until you are catatonic

Numbness, where would we be with it where would we be without it (dead certainty)

Fantasy lover,
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere and u know what they say - well that one mailbox says, I mean didn’t get a picture yet I was driving alone!! With the windows down!! but I’m going to go back for it as soon as the rush is over - that
LIFE IS SHORT (but, implied) ETERNITY IS SURE
Hate to see that cat go...
it was very, very loved
Can you tell me anything else about it
That’s all I want you to know about it
But you can put a coin in it, play
Skee-ball
Skew ball
Pinball
Pachinko (it’s rigged - as long as you play you can NEVER LOSE)
Play the air
The firmament itself
My sister actually had to remind me recently that writing a poem is not illegal (still not ready to cop to *waves hands* whatever all of this is though) (but u get me, always have, thank u for reading ⭐️)

Feedback is an elastic substance
A tree clinging to the sand with its roots exposed
A man saved 67% off the listing price because he bought a house that is about to slide into the ocean! Cool!
Ants love to cluster together in floodwater and we still have never found all the bodies from Katrina, plenty of people still walk among us knowing what awful things they would do under the perfect cover of disaster and I have met many of them, trust none of them, trust everyone I can’t help it I’m too openhearted and I can’t shut up about it!!!!

All chrome and Lysol and living laughing n’ lovingly tearing out the waterlogged insulation after the first but not last biblical flood that drowned me personally 08/17/17
Ten foot tall mounds of trash along the culs-de-sac
By the end all we could do was fight each other, literally (i wonder if he’s earned his black belt yet, i know i gave myself mine for leaving) and when he finally figured out what was going to happen after my millionth repetition he keened, “BUT I SUTURED MYSELF TO YOU”

Like seriously, WHO says that, stop being so stingy it’s honestly disgusting you disgust me leave me alone!!!!! everything couldn’t be in its place if the place my heart was in was getting stepped on by my own heel and yeah of course that was just fine for YOU my heart has nothing to do with you it belongs in MY chest x-ray!!!!!

chopped and screwed and flat and round and round a sprawling bullseye, a headshot straight to my interests, my delusions!
📍meet me at BENDCO’S WORLD OF BENDING AND COILING, the dreamhouse which is near the site of the latest disaster 09/16/24
LAYBACK and don’t worry because at least I can tell people the official story is I chose a practical spouse who would be good to have around in the apocalypse (as if the apocalypse wasn’t/isn’t already) and that was literally the best thing I could think to tell people about my...⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠? ⊠⊠ ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ was never married to
that ⊠⊠⊠ but u already know that
had me agreeing to a compromising position indeed!!!! Big yikes, girl run, get out of there!!!

Anyway! the battleships have been abandoned in the harbor, those two boys set off on their raft but what if they can’t see the lighthouse
or the buoy-shaped cooler that will keep your drink cold,
keep your vagus nerve on ice
until it’s your HAPPY BIRTHDAY all I want is to be happy or die trying
I’m zero again!
With a puppy under my neck
Puppies
Kittens
Birdies
And the other side that’s just called side B
I’m having a ball
A red rubber ball
A suitcase from the Goodwill bins in Delaware, chalkware (state-sponsored by DuPont, a tax heaven!)
NOT FOR SALE AT ANY PRICE
My grindset...it’s fraying...
I’m a postambitious baby crawling without its feet
The sad dog, a sentry
Hastily spraypainted
A dark stain on the heart
Wreathed in my grandmother’s lei from Hawaii because I do know how to throw a party, it’s in my blood
BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE

The window of the U-Haul truck must be taped closed each time
Maggie-dog rides in the middle
a crop duster swoops low overhead, swoops over my shoulder or over his or over my grandfather’s, this time we were in Kansas I think, anyway it was flat and I was on my way to ~~get married~~ meet Mia 🍒🌸
(she told her bf she fell in looooove tonight and i was like girl u have no idea how much sense that makes to me U GET ME and we both know how to )

I needto look in y’all’s mirrors
I have to return to every place that formed me,
the nausea and vertigo of the come-up
the skyline some movie projected onto the very surface of the United Nations
Please, use a coaster! Made of rubber that I found on the ground in Hamtrammck
the previews of your vision are about to begin

Reacquaint yourself with the resolution target, the dollar store, that book you ghostwrote, all of your notes, the treasure map

An airbrush tee that says ‘IS THIS SPIRITUAL PSYCHOSIS OR AM I FINALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME?’
or ‘Get In Winner We’re Going Crazy!’
or ‘I need a special license to operate myself’
or ‘Divorce yourself from reality!’
or, and perhaps most pertinently, ‘Ask me about my soft power!’
Learn to sing 4real or at least LOUD

until the stars fall from the sky until the rivers all run dry (and they are!)

I’m a racehorse waiting for the starting gun
Multiple people have told me that my body resembles a sports car
I was born with the engine already running!
I’m Teflon you can’t touch me
I’m me and you can’t kill her

Ava, like Ada, ~~half naked~~ half-NAMED for
My great grandmother made the grandmother made the dress made the mother that made me up in her mind as a child, made her ideal mate up in her mind
Out of tinfoil one day while in traffic in Tyson’s Corner in a Lincoln Continental the size of a damn house boat
I met a man who lived on a house boat the first day I got choked by wildfire smoke personally in June of ‘23
Driving back down from Syracuse after two days photographing a fake liminal hospital that was poised to open
Get in the shot, or out of it, depending, and change clothes in every bathroom of the place

Breathe in and hold, now exhale
The window the quadrant the compass
Bunny and compass
Bunnies isn’t a song (yet)
Better safe than sorry [maintain cheery demeanor]
This whole thing turned out to be nothing more than the world’s most expensive titpic but
I’m safe now and I’m no longer sorry!
in the next timeline over I’m left hanging in the cluttered garage!!

Like the girl who looked sorta like me and lived down the hall at the GrandMarc who would go missing, get murdered two years after i was splaying myself like a crime scene photo all over the ground(s) trying to get seen by SOMEbody
I am filled with anticipation!
I can’t wait for the world to chew me up!
I think if I understand how it works it cannot possibly hurt me! I’m not ggirlfriend. material! Ok! This doesn’t have longevity in exclusivity! Ok!
but I do have to say, my first kiss was actually so good it summoned an ambulance! Everything else that happened after not so much, or whatever

(P.S. her body i mean her name, I forgot it until I remembered it, is written on the bridge right now, I drove passt it on the way to the lecture this week 09/23/24 and I guess they do that now in the fall like how in the spring they do Yeardley’s)

like getting followed back to my 1st cubicle so some strange man can see my full name and then send me a request to connect on LinkedIn, or
whatever happened in France? uh my roommate was a total sigma kappa c-u-n-t but she had a point that i was a total disaster,

Upon further consideration it’s not fair to put it on the 18-year-old not to kiss u back in the ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ ⊠⊠⊠⊠ parking garage, actually, but I held the line because I actually cared about u, I heard ur name read at graduation and wondered whether still married to A⊠⊠⊠⊠ who taught at the private school halfway west towards the mental hospital where the Scissor Board sat waiting

A burning sky is the perfect soft box light
It requires particulates
Participates
Emissaries
It made the shot that made the cover
Falling forward through 5,000 panes of glass $5,000 for my fate and a lottery ticket
Solved that crossword in record time
Hard work is easy when

ANYWAY like I said if you were even listening
I’m me and you can’t kill her!!

It is HER lava lamp enwreathed in a crown
“For that lamp bitch”
Picking the right shade of yellow spray paint at the tractor supply purchasing the components for lures and then returning them
Pocketing them
Never met her but we crossed paths on the way up to heaven & we would both like some gravy on our rice!

Heaven is hanging low in the sky now
08/29/21
08/29/22
08/29/23
08/29/24
Heaven is home Heaven is hear you too are so special

YES I’m in the pocket of Big Fate!
A blank highway sign because I can’t read yet in this lifetime
Or was it AI slop on the sign, a simulacrum
But always at an oblique angle!
Am I using my phone wrong?
Am I using it all wrong?
I saw the future and i died in it, i saw the future and I didn’t

If what I’m saying to you feels weirdly prescient it’s only because I knew I had it in me somewhere!!
A crucifix, the tractor trailer
Exiting the loop
Splendor, lord I surrender

Anyway! Stalker is THE movie
As in -
Pale Fire is THE book for me
as in -
We went to THE movie tonight I mean THEE movie
I knew I’d never see you in a room that small ever again

Spacewives went to THEE drive in
right before we all scattered nobody’s driving but they did real stunts in the airplanes because
nobody loves the movies like Tom Cruise loves the movies!
A hand stretches out of the screen
a train barrels out of the screen and my three-year-old self ducks instinctively
MEAT WORLD
the solution is service!!!!!
And an uncontrolled burn of vinyl chloride
The accelerant is hair spray, kerosene, DOUADMITIT
(A chunk of metal sails through your bedroom window and you hold it aloft for the newspaper photographer)

Rescue me!

“At least I know my dog is rescued”

Golden Girls is on in the hospital waiting room, the favorite of Summer and Anna, Summer and Charlie for one weekend only at the Fox!! Go live on Periscope when it still existed, when the linear internet still existed, kissing next to the open window when it still existed before the astral plane was even astral

Better safe than sorry
“It’s a halter monitor -
It ~~acts like~~ records a ticker tape of your heart!”
You do get to keep the picture but only if you can figure out how to log in to your MyChart™️ (an Epic Systems product) account

Everyone means well but they resorted to hiding the pumps and poles and not sterilizing them properly because one guy in the sanitation workflow never received an email login to the ticketing system and he’s holding the whole process hostage via a whiteboard in the bowels of the building!!!! It’s not his fault but Mr. CEO it damn sure is yours
“Make him swallow what he has chewed,” says my mentor

(Reality is just like, louder? Now because of this)

It’s emergency room season! Let’s take turns getting two paranoid leaves reddening, wooly aphid nymphs
Ground dwellers
Send a picture of where you are
No not a picture of a mushroom, a picture of where you ARE
A frisson of danger
the A level of the parking garage
You have to understand -
THE JOY I FEEL NOW IS ONLY EQUAL TO MY DESPAIR

Now THAT’s what I call sublimity after relinquishing a lifetime of sublimation
Fucking finally!!!!! I’m so relieved
I had to meet u
I HAD TO meet you

Do you have any idea what I had to do to lift the car of time off of my own body, do you have any idea how close I was to stepping off that ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠
I’m sorry for yelling it’s just -
Baby’s first hurricane you didn’t live in Houston
without hope you live in longing
You didn’t go to our crucible

(There are some ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ that can only be had in ⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠ with certain ppl)

The registration lady just asked me what my religion is (this is too on the nose but I stg I’m not joking!!) so I said spiritual, you jumped in and said spiritual but NOT religious (hey wait that’s the name of a class I took in college maybe 1,000 feet away from this very spot no even less maybe even less than a football field) anyway! that wasn’t an option so they just put none
No dogma
NO EMO
No malice
“The question was always there, but they only recently started to stress it”

See one do one teach one
I’m in the middle now, I’m the student and the teacher, the priest and the confessor, but always always always the supplicant
Can’t help it! Knowing me means having gifts foisted upon you from time to time

Hold the conch close to your ear to hear the song, hear what you recorded (good noises)
Everything went grey like flying into a cloud
Cirrus (cirrus? what does it want)
An airplane pierces the sky like an arrow, like the feminine urge to get divorced and pierce one’s nipples
Like who was that one saint that drank breast milk from the Virgin Mary?
The Mona Lisa right after it was placed behind a protective layer of plexiglass by Monsanto!

What protects the Mona Lisa, Google? You’re useless at this point but I already know what I need to and the information is stored locally in my own steel trap of a memory
(Harvest season is also hunting season)
Drawing her on the floor as a child encircled by strangers children watching me
This catholic shit is easy (i’m only one generation removed after all, but you’re zero and sometimes I don’t understand it) but I can never remember anyone’s name and that’s EMBARRASSING

A hundred takes diving forward into the dirt outside Hanford California
Crop duster plane attached to my necktie
I can’t resist a visual gag
An apple in the mouth a half-submerged glass in the water muck
The golden cougar
getting spit-roasted in THEE original God-tier bog
Carol Doda is my god, the real thing (but maybe with a bit of silicone poisoning)
** Wound Care **
Clean yourself afterwards and cause a chemical injury to your protective skin barrier with the wrong
Surfactant
Coagulant
Correxit
Core - exit
Correct it?
Like blood magic
The BP oil spill and your personal carbon footprint is crushing us all!!! Don’t be afraid to put your full weight on because this is what simulates intimacy

Trains are emerging out of nowhere
I’ve been here before!!
But in the universe
I mean the inverse
I mean in my dreams
The symbology is all so personal
I promise i’m of sound mind
I know we’re in the middle of driving me to the hospital but -
I just want you to feel the joy of it
Correct it

Time for the rubber to meet the road, he said
I AM YOU
🫶 I miss you
love u 12/22/1315
If you think that’s impulsive you ain’t seen nothing yet
Some records should remain read-only or have a dumpster lock, learn your lesson u messy bitch u
Hang onto your hat on top of the car
Like a hot cup of coffee
(The first time I heard my mother curse out loud, on the way to my piano lesson)
And drive away after making a big impression in your fur coat, you don’t need to go on the journey for show because it’s already in u

There is a reason society doesn’t want young women thinking too hard...

Take exit 99
Head west over the mountain towards
Vulcanization!!!

Rubber Town, Kentucky and other disaster sites close to or within my heart

BF Goodrich tire sign, afraid to look in the real mirror, I would jump into soft round pools only closeness with no edges
Girlhood then now and forever!! Thanks for walking me home after assaulting me, that was like SO sweet of you, I wonder when you’ll decide to run for public office!

To see a dog with a human name
A dog named Amazing - a dog named Maze like the center of the labyrinth? like the place dreams burble forth and escape their containers? No just short for amazing

It’s just that ~~I’m old~~ ~~I’m precocious~~ I’m reborn can’t you see? It’s simple can’t u see??
Bo and Maggie and ⊠⊠⊠⊠ and Lucky in heaven, The Farm (talk to Leslie(s), dredge up what you were writing then - I need big help!! And u know how to work with desire BIG TYME)

Cave Canem, Princess Diana’s funeral on our 13” Sony triNITRON TV with a VCR please
I’m the dog with the bone in its mouth
Empty signs, blank signs exceed short-term exposure
Do not send on the original live wire to Houston
Marginalia WILL save your life like it saved mine

The wrought iron bed like the triple bell
Pay Now
My bed frame, from Craigslist, was $900 plus a day spent sanding 5/8” off a box spring with a rented belt sander really gouging at it but no one will see beneath the cover anyway
Pointing above it now - I feel like this! I feel like this right now this is it!
The triple bell,
I just assumed it was for sale but some things are harder to come by

2 Phantom notifications
the green glass
Glowing glass
Uranium glass
Aluminum foil in the shape of a miniature man or a sword that shower, a space capsule
This shower, its twin with a ~~siren~~ beacon in it
I put it there I brought the bomb into the room it was me I confess I confess I confess!
[Waterfall of blue streamers]
Lenticular moon landing coin purse for the finger picks to pluck the fallen tree itself
Can’t fake that!
My phone keeps losing service and then sending me a notification that a relay is active and I’m being protected

🐎📍❣️

You’re a star star STAR
A star walking on a giant star
Scrapkeeper gettin in too many scraps
on the loose!
on the loose!
Before we both hurt each other in so many ways, it was so special

Until 2 plus 2 is 3 (but nothing to fear about four, my favorite number, the quadrant, my false self had to get a tattoo too of course)
Adds up to pocket change
In Cacalie’s concourse
I mean coin purse
Dear future self,
Almost flooded my car on the way home that day
DON’T mess with the Heights save every name-tag you ever wore and sleep at the airport
It’s so LOUD in here with all this COMMERCE
Make a call, make the right call
Ask for help
Autocorrect keeps calling out to @Anj
who, of course, looks like ⊠

They’re talkin’ bout you (sleepy voices)
Shirt matches the gloves
Dispose of radioactive waste properly or it will degrade in your hands into a black sludge
Dose and duration
Fairytale farmicon ending at the love canal
This is my ultimate phobia!
Never mind it was just a baptism!
Dual entry baptismal pool from Facebook marketplace
NEED HER, should I cop?
~~Yellow~~ blue lick road did I imagine it??
A VR tour of every house in my memory enough to make you feel seasick
Making noise in the tunnel made everyone uncomfortable but at least it had an effect

Sorry for flaring out like watching the ~~Challenger~~ Columbia disaster(s) live on TV
Watching the pope die live on TV
Watching hurricane Katrina live on TV
Oh God I forget about everything
Keep the flare of your heart lit
UNEED1
❤️‍🔥

Ignore limit for today
La La La La La La
Cut copy paste auto fill
I’m BORED
Everything is the SAME we’ve been talking on the same phones since 2007!!! And Steve Jobs was notoriously a total piece of shit to like everyone
WHERE is my bedazzled sidekick or a pink Motorola razr
WHERE is the Hollywood lighting
the kind of glitter made of shards of real metal

Old telephone poles keening downward
My love for you is petrified
On the Texas State Fair midway
In the background of a French news report
Mixing with the stems
in the blue glass jar your books and my shoes
commingled in a Texas dump
Whatever happened to that stuff
Who told us this was a good idea?
The man who invented the concept of disposable plastic packaging loved a long and peaceful life but he sure wouldn’t have if I had been born in a different generation!!

order a set of fangs from Johnny Dang when you have the money someday

“Enter combined view”
Playing invisible motorcycles with Katie in the front yard
THAT’s what I call a hard day’s work in service of the girlhood agenda
Union Strong, time to drive a bigger vehicle because my scabs take longer to heal now

(The person in the bed next to me pregnant fearing a miscarriage
It’s unclear where the bleeding is coming from)

Chemical Safety Hazards Identification Label
you’ll have to forgive me for not typing i’m getting tired
The number one life hack to turn a night owl into a morning person is spending all night in the emergency room!
Doing two factor authentication
Or is it four
Until they assure you there is nowhere to rush
Nowhere else to be but now dot com!
I think we should kiss
I think we should get married
Is this it for me?
I think I died and now I get to live a second time, it means that much to me, what I did to get here

Pavlovian response to keys jingling persists
my heart has now been lit with a desire that is irrepressible
That’s what I meant when I said to myself that EVERY DESIRE IS AN EMERGENCY but I could only ever sing while driving or when I found myself in a larger choir (Add “face your fears” to the personal curriculum, begrudgingly)

It turns out we both drew the long match
What used to take me years now only takes minutes! Is this mania!?
The zero hour workweek is coming in ‘88!
Say the sleepy Ron and Nancy Reagan slippers
Sincerity is the ugliest form of parody
What do I even mean
My heavenmate is hiccuping in the sleep like the black dog lapping milk from a pyramid and I can’t stop laughing coughing laughing hearing the drumbeat of the universe with every foot fall
I feel like shit but I’m doing amazing! Just like the last time there were ants everywhere in my house

Meet my good and evil twin I wanted to be 5’10” but god had other plans but you can always buy height in synthetic vinyl or patent leather with ribbon laces and brads, spats that take at least 5-10 minutes to put on or take off
Try to get loose
Spootum scruffles’ nose dripping with snot like a faucet to keep me at home for the rapture
we’re SCRAPPERS
The firmament of heaven itself is a

(My app crashes)

The firmament of heaven itself is a powerful magnet in an amplifier that is making my devices behave strangely, making me behave strangely

I’m going crazy in all the right ways!!!!!!!!! The exclamation points demonstrate a measure of control
Time flys free
Hit the road baby

🐎

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